6 years ago a guy looked at me face to face, and boldly told me; "I don't like you!" I immediately fired a response, I asked him that day; "Thank you for the honest feedback, but those that you like, how has it made their life better? How does your liking people pay their bills or take a bank loan? My brother keep your like, I need God's like And that's what guarantees my future. Today I joined a CEO friend of mine in an interview Panel to recruit some new staff, it was a long session, as we returned from a coffee break to continue the hectic interview session, here was this same guy walked in with his grey jacket and CV coming for the interview. Our eyes kissed by fluke, we immediately recognised each other; "the world is indeed spherical", I soliloquized. He felt very uncomfortable through out the interview, one could clearly see the volcanic eruption ongoing in his whole nervous system, he even mistook his date of birth for his last date of empl...
Dear Kenyans (Sana sana Nairobians) who will be coming down to Mombasa for the December holidays:
1. We people who live in Mombasa live in houses. Our homes. 'Hatulalangi' kwa ma hoteli so stop with the 'Nakuja kesho. Ni hoteli gani poa?'
Imagine unaeza Google 'Hotels in Mombasa' but we can refer you to a few holiday homes and villa owners who do short term rentals (I'll do another post on this.)
2. If you happen to be looking for transportation, number za JamboJet, Modern coast, Mash, Dreamline are also on Websites.
3. Unless you are really close with someone, do not expect them to hire a car for you ndio upige lap nayo. Hata kama unajilipia. Most of you end up binge drinking and fucking up cars mnaacha watu wakisumbuka.
4. Most Coasterians like Nairobians have schedules. Biryani is mostly a Friday dish after a long week and Friday prayers. Usianze kupiga simu Monday saa tatu asubuhi ati, 'Nipeleke nikakule biryani.' No please.
6. Ugali is called Sima,
7. Pojo is green grams/dengu as you call them.
8. Kuna sambusa za nyama, viazi na pojo. so specify ama uliza.
7. Ukwaju is not pili pili , pilipili are raw chilies
8. Rice is wali , hatusemi mchele.
9. Mahamri IS NOT the same as mandazi.
10. There are two types of bhajia. Bhajia za kawaida na bhajia za kihindi. The latter is smaller, dark brown and crunchy. Whatever you people call bhajia in Nairobi (Those potatoes with dhania) huwa hatukuli huku.
'Story ya food ni mingi' Ask nitakujibu.
11. Mombasa people are big on greetings and courtesy.
Shikamoo - greetings to a person way older than you. Around your parents age.
Marahaba - How you respond when a child says 'Shikamoo' to you.
Assaalam Aleikum is not kiswahili. Its Arabic for 'Peace be upon you.'
Aleikum Saalam is its response. This would get you a long way among Muslim folks.
If you are not sure on what greetings to use, a normal, 'Habari ya leo/asubuhi/jioni' works just fine. Especially with people who provide services. Gets you better services too.
12. You can carry all your hotpants, bikinis, booty shorts and what not. You can slay all you want but please when going to town try and dress decently. Yes your dress your choice lakini siendi Old Town na mtu anakaa kahaba in the name of slayage. A summer dress would be just fine for town run around and errands. Trust me.
For the guys, vests si T-shirts. Please invest in a t-shirt or ask for sleeveless t-shirts fondly known as (Kata kono). Leave the faded, ugly yellowish vests in Nairobi.
13. Public alcohol drinking is highly frowned upon so unless you are in a cab, a private residence, a tuktuk, carrying a mzinga and Beer cans is not considered hip or cool around here. You might actually find yourself on the receiving end of some not so pleasant words.
14. While you people might be big on boozing and clubbing, Mombasa people prefer chewing veve, khat (Ghati) on Fridays and Saturday after a long week. Huku hatusemi "kuchana" tunasema "kuambua"
Make arrangements to drink on your own from 4Pm to 12 midnight when most people tema and hit the club in Nairobi.
If you decide to hangout with miraa chewers in Mombasa, please shika adabu. Wacha kuuliza, 'Mnamaliza kuchana saa ngapi? Tunataka kuenda Club. '
Eeeeeeeeeeeeerm.....Tukimaliza utajua.
12. South Coast is on the other side of Likoni ferry. Over 1 hour drive from Mombasa. Same as Malindi na watamu on the north. So unless uko Mombasa Town, usisumbue watu ati mkutane. Hiyo ni kama kutuambia tupange Safari. We don't like moving around.
12. All our clubs (we only have 6 or 7) clubs in Mombasa are around Kenol/Nakumatt Nyali area. Hatujui 'ni gani poa' ama 'Yenye hukuwa na ma dame wasupuu.' Explore and find the one you like most for yourself .
Most importantly, plan your vacation early to get good deals, huku Bado ni Kenya si Miami so public decorum and good manners msiwache Nairobi.
Have fun, take care of your belongings and above all, stay safe.
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