6 years ago a guy looked at me face to face, and boldly told me; "I don't like you!" I immediately fired a response, I asked him that day; "Thank you for the honest feedback, but those that you like, how has it made their life better? How does your liking people pay their bills or take a bank loan? My brother keep your like, I need God's like And that's what guarantees my future. Today I joined a CEO friend of mine in an interview Panel to recruit some new staff, it was a long session, as we returned from a coffee break to continue the hectic interview session, here was this same guy walked in with his grey jacket and CV coming for the interview. Our eyes kissed by fluke, we immediately recognised each other; "the world is indeed spherical", I soliloquized. He felt very uncomfortable through out the interview, one could clearly see the volcanic eruption ongoing in his whole nervous system, he even mistook his date of birth for his last date of empl...
Clever jokes
1) (hip hip array!)
["hip","hip"]
2) Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
3) A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”
Yo’ mama’s so…
4) If your mom was a collection class, her insert method would be public.
5) Your mommas so fat that not even Dijkstra is able to find a shortest path around her.
Questions and answers
6) Q: What is the difference between a programmer and a non-programmer ?
A: The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is 1000 bytes while a programmer is convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters
7) Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that’s a hardware problem.
8) Need to grab someone else’s private property
Q: “What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
A: Inheritance
9) Q: Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?
A: Because they work below C-level.
10) Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Yes.
11) Q: Why do java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don’t see sharp
12) Q: What did the Java code say to the C code?
A: You’ve got no class.
A: You’ve got no class.
13) Q: How did the programmer die in the shower?
A: He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
A: He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Kinda pervert…
14) Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
15) Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep
16) What’s the difference between Software Development and Sex? In sex, you don’t get a bonus for releasing early.
15) Documentation is like sex. When it’s good, it’s very good. When it’s bad, it’s better than nothing.
Have some, comment them. **Shared Jokes.
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