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Jokes . . .

Clever jokes

1) (hip hip array!)
["hip","hip"]
2) Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
3) A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”

Yo’ mama’s so…

4) If your mom was a collection class, her insert method would be public.
5) Your mommas so fat that not even Dijkstra is able to find a shortest path around her.

Questions and answers

6) Q: What is the difference between a programmer and a non-programmer ?
A: The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is 1000 bytes while a programmer is convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters
7) Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that’s a hardware problem.
8) Need to grab someone else’s private property
Q: “What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
A: Inheritance
9) Q: Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?
A: Because they work below C-level.
10) Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Yes.
11) Q: Why do java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don’t see sharp
12) Q: What did the Java code say to the C code?
A: You’ve got no class.
13) Q: How did the programmer die in the shower?
A: He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Kinda pervert…

14) Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
15) Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep
16) What’s the difference between Software Development and Sex? In sex, you don’t get a bonus for releasing early.
15) Documentation is like sex. When it’s good, it’s very good. When it’s bad, it’s better than nothing.

Have some, comment them. **Shared Jokes.

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Word of the Day

Here is your word for today:

Verse:   2 Chronicles 16:9

'The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward Him.'

- The Lord wants to step into your situation and show His strength.
- The Lord wants to show Himself strong on your behalf.
- Our hearts are perfect towards Him when we have placed all our hope in Him.
- No situation escapes His view, so let's be confident in His strength and ability.

PRAYER: Lord, I pray that You will come and show Yourself strong on my behalf. Move in my situation and may I see the powerful and mighty hand of God at work. Amen.

Have a blessed Tuesday.