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Jokes . . .

Clever jokes

1) (hip hip array!)
2) Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
3) A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”

Yo’ mama’s so…

4) If your mom was a collection class, her insert method would be public.
5) Your mommas so fat that not even Dijkstra is able to find a shortest path around her.

Questions and answers

6) Q: What is the difference between a programmer and a non-programmer ?
A: The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is 1000 bytes while a programmer is convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters
7) Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that’s a hardware problem.
8) Need to grab someone else’s private property
Q: “What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
A: Inheritance
9) Q: Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?
A: Because they work below C-level.
10) Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Yes.
11) Q: Why do java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don’t see sharp
12) Q: What did the Java code say to the C code?
A: You’ve got no class.
13) Q: How did the programmer die in the shower?
A: He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Kinda pervert…

14) Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
15) Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep
16) What’s the difference between Software Development and Sex? In sex, you don’t get a bonus for releasing early.
15) Documentation is like sex. When it’s good, it’s very good. When it’s bad, it’s better than nothing.

Have some, comment them. **Shared Jokes.

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" Come on. I won't bite. You can't resist me, no man can" she said.

"I am a married man" he told her.

"Fight all you want, but soon I will have you. I am way better than your wife" she told him.

"You are nothing compared to my wife" he told her off.

"Really? All this body. All these curves. All these sweetness. I bet your wife is not as good in bed as I am" she told him unbuttoning the top button of her blouse to reveal her cleavage, then lifting up her skirt, just a bit.

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Awesome day. Been happy, save for having a simple repetitive task. This means, I had time to find out why bro ocholla was [not] praying today.
A photo is worth a thousand words, so here you go.

that freaky htaccess

Htaccess - Evolved

The Hyper Text Transfer Protocol (HTTP) was initiated at the CERN in Geneve (Switzerland), where it emerged (together with the HTML presentation language) from the need to exchange scientific information on a computer network in a simple manner. The first public HTTP implementation only allowed for plain text information, and almost instantaneously became a replacement of the GOPHER service. One of the first text-based browsers was LYNX which still exists today; a graphical HTTP client appeared very quickly with the name NCSA Mosaic. Mosaic was a popular browser back in 1994. Soon the need for a more rich multimedia experience was born, and the markup language provided support for a growing multitude of media types.

Htaccess file know-how will do several things for you:

Make your website noticeably faster.
Allow you to debug your server with ease.
Make your life easier and more rewarding.
Allow you to work faster and more productively.
^AskApache Htaccess Journey