Jokes . . .

Clever jokes

1) (hip hip array!)

["hip","hip"]

2) Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”

The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

3) A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”

Yo’ mama’s so…

4) If your mom was a collection class, her insert method would be public.

5) Your mommas so fat that not even Dijkstra is able to find a shortest path around her.

Questions and answers

6) Q: What is the difference between a programmer and a non-programmer ?

A: The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is 1000 bytes while a programmer is convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters

7) Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: none, that’s a hardware problem.

8) Need to grab someone else’s private property

Q: “What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”

A: Inheritance

9) Q: Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?

A: Because they work below C-level.

10) Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Yes.

11) Q: Why do java programmers have to wear glasses?

A: Because they don’t see sharp

12) Q: What did the Java code say to the C code?
A: You’ve got no class.

13) Q: How did the programmer die in the shower?
A: He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Kinda pervert…

14) Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.

15) Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

16) What’s the difference between Software Development and Sex? In sex, you don’t get a bonus for releasing early.

15) Documentation is like sex. When it’s good, it’s very good. When it’s bad, it’s better than nothing.

Have some, comment them. **Shared Jokes.